


this girl will only break you

by parisinjune



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Feelings Disguised As Hatred, POV Second Person, Repressed Feelings, also one of my tags refuses to be capitalized and it annoys me but whatever, honestly sharpay being into gabriella would have made so much sense wow????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 18:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parisinjune/pseuds/parisinjune
Summary: She’s right that you hurt people, but she doesn’t understand that you only hurt others to protect yourself from getting hurt. She doesn’t understand that she hurts you.You don’t understandwhyshe hurts you.





	this girl will only break you

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a thing. I’ve toyed with an AU where Sharpay is in love with Gabriella for a while, because, as I said in the tags, it actually makes a lot of sense and honestly, it would be a really interesting explanation for Sharpay’s obsessive hatred directed toward Gabriella. I also wanted to try out something new in terms of writing style, hence the use of the second person POV.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at gabriellabolton (my main blog) and bisexualsharpay (my HSM sideblog).
> 
> Hope you enjoy! And comments are love!

The first time you meet her, he’s showing her the sign-up sheet for the musical.

There’s something not right about it. He never hangs around with new kids, never shows any interest in the drama club. You don’t like the way that she, whoever she is, looks at the sheet, looks at him.

In an attempt to gauge the extent of their interest in the drama club, you tell both of them that they are welcome to try out for supporting roles. You barely see him flinch, since your eyes are on her.

She tells you that she’s just looking around, but you don’t believe her.

“Nice penmanship.”

You scowl at her, bewildered, as she shoots him a flirtatious smile and leaves.

There’s something freaky about her.

\--

You’re right about her.

Behind your back, completely against the rules, she auditions for the musical. With him.

And apparently Darbus thinks they’re good, because for the first time in your life, you have a callback.

To make matters even worse, their audition sets off a chain reaction and people suddenly start mingling with others outside their own cliques. The hierarchy that you so proudly stand on top of, starts crumbling down before your eyes.

In the midst of the chaos, she spills her lunch on you.

You hate her.

\--

You hear someone singing in the bathroom.

You have a suspicion as to whom this voice belongs to and you decide to investigate.

You strut into the bathroom, completely prepared to catch her in the act and to take the opportunity to tell her off once and for all.

There’s nobody there. You kick in door after door, you check the stalls, but all of them are empty.

You catch your own reflection in the mirror and decide to drop it.

You must be imagining things. And even if you aren’t, you’re a better singer than whoever you heard anyway.

Yet, you can’t stop thinking about that voice. And for some reason, you also can’t stop thinking about sparkling dark eyes.

\--

It turns out that you are not imagining anything.

The next time you catch that voice, it’s loud and clear, and your suspicions are confirmed. It’s her.

You panic. Something has to be done about her. She threatens your power over the drama club and something tells you that there’s trouble for you wherever she goes.

She needs to stay as far away from you and your musical as possible.

You start thinking.

Her decathlon competition happens to coincide with his championship game. Perhaps it should coincide with the callback as well.

When Darbus agrees to move the callback, you wink at your brother and you feel a surge of relief.

You won’t have to worry about her getting too close anymore.

\--

Your plan backfires.

They somehow make it to callbacks just in time and they draw an audience of which you can only dream.

You watch on helplessly as you lose a role for the first time in your life.

You decide to be the better person, albeit reluctantly.

“Break a leg,” you tell her and you can’t help but feel a little amused as her eyes – those eyes that plague your thoughts – widen in shock and fear.

As you assure you won’t really break her leg and she relaxes, she smiles at you genuinely for the first time.

It won’t last, you tell yourself. She will lose her interest in theatre or she will move away again. Maybe both.

She will go away and you will forget her.

\--

When summer vacation rolls around, you’re excited to go home to Lava Springs and rejuvenate.

You’re also excited that she’ll be gone. You’ve heard that she has never stayed in one place for long. You wonder if she has ruined someone’s life and then just left before.

You feel pleased as you tell her goodbye, but there’s also a hint of sadness deep inside you that you can’t quite rationalize. You tell yourself it’s just the thrill of competition that you’ll miss.

She tells you that she’s staying.

She also thanks you for helping her with the winter musical, but you’re not sure if she’s being earnest.

When you see them together later, you wonder what he sees in her. You’re much better than she is, you can offer him things she can’t.

You don’t care for him, but for some reason, you suddenly desperately want him to fill the gaping void that appeared since you met her.

“It’s summer, Ry. Everything changes,” you tell your brother.

You hope you’re right.

\--

You tell Fulton to hire him. She gets hired as well.

She’s the new lifeguard and she has no business looking that good in a bathing suit.

You trip and fall into the pool and she saves you. It angers you. You don’t need her to save you and you don’t need her to keep invading your life like this.

His friends laugh at you and you feel humiliated.

Your excitement for summer has dissipated.

You need to get rid of her.

\--

Your brother befriends her.

While you’re caught up in your plan to drive her away, your brother has drawn closer to her.

It hurts for a myriad of reasons. It hurts because you know you’re in the wrong, it hurts because your carefully constructed life keeps crumbling down around you, it hurts because you feel lonelier than ever before.

It hurts because you know you could happy if you allowed yourself to be.

He’s not the solution to your problem. You’re not sure what is.

You feel envious of your brother, but you don’t know what you’re envious of exactly.

You remember how prettily she smiled when your brother kissed her hand and you feel a hollow ache in your chest.

As you ask the drummer for a beat, you push that memory to the back of your mind.

\--

She tells you to check the damage that is right behind you.

You almost laugh in her face. You want to yell at her about the damage she has caused you.

For once, you foresee the possible consequences. You stay quiet.

She’s right that you hurt people, but she doesn’t understand that you only hurt others to protect yourself from getting hurt. She doesn’t understand that she hurts you.

You don’t understand _why_ she hurts you.

You don’t want her to know how much she hurts you. You don’t want him to know either.

You know that he’s watching. You know that he’s hurt too. You don’t care.

She tells you she’s leaving and you’re relieved.

She doesn’t leave your mind, though. Her words echo in your head for days and you wonder why she gets under your skin so much.

You have no idea.

\--

She returns to Lava Springs on the night of the talent show.

She sings with him, since your brother has schemed to get you out of the performance. You figure you deserve it.

He brings you up on stage. He’s a good guy. You’re starting to like him. He doesn’t make you happy, though.

However, dancing on stage with them and their friends, you don’t feel alone for once.

These fleeting moments are not a cure for your loneliness, though. You know they won’t last, you’re still too wary of her to let them.

You don’t know how to be truly happy as long as she is around.

\--

There is one thing that you can always count on. Your ambition and your talent.

You set your sights on Juilliard. Nothing matters except your journey to becoming a star.

She gets in your way again. It’s not entirely her fault this time; she didn’t sign up for the spring musical out of her own volition. Yet she’s the one to convince everyone else to participate.

He is up for the Juilliard scholarship as well. You have no idea how, and neither does he. The thought of him possibly getting your spot, getting your happy ending, makes your blood boil.

You scowl as her arms wrap around him in a hug. You wonder if he wouldn’t have been a threat to your future if she hadn’t been around to encourage him to do the musical.

You wonder if she will ever stop ruining your life.

\--

You dream. You dream of fame and fortune, of Broadway, of being a star.

You dream of him admiring you, worshipping the ground you walk on. You dream of her working for you, being under your control.

You dream of her actually being on your side.

You know it’s a superficial kind of friendship that you dream of. It’s a friendship that is born out of convenience, out of necessity.

Most of your relationships are superficial. You wonder if you could ever have something that is deeper than that with someone who isn’t your brother.

You dream of her in a French maid’s costume.

You decide not to dwell on that detail.

\--

She’s leaving East High prematurely. At least, she should be.

The minute you find out about her early admission, you figure that he’s holding her back and she needs a push in the right direction.

You tell him. She leaves.

“Let’s do it for Gabriella,” you tell everyone when it seems like nobody wants to go on without her.

The show must go on without her. She must chase her dreams.

And if her dreams take her far away from East High, from you, you’re better off for it.

Yet, somehow, her departure has left a pit in your stomach you can’t and don’t want to understand.

\--

You don’t get into Juilliard.

It’s his fault. He ditches prom to bring her back and no one tells you that the understudy is performing. You make a fool out of yourself.

It hurts. You smile when your brother is announced a scholarship recipient – deservedly so – but you wish you were one too.

There’s something else that causes you pain, that tugs at your heartstrings.

It’s the way she glows with happiness. It’s the way that she smiles at him brightly as he announces his plans for the future.

He’s moving to California to be closer to her. She’s going to have her happy ending with him.

You want someone to look at you the way she looks at him. You want to smile at someone the way he smiles at her.

You wish the happy ending would be yours for once.

\--

“One person, if it’s the right person, changes us all,” he says during his graduation speech.

You’re seated next to her and you swear you feel warmth radiate from her as you contemplate his words.

It’s true. Since she came to East High, your life has changed a lot. It’s not for the better in your case, though. You have watched your life be shattered into a million of pieces because of her.

You wonder what life would have been like if you hadn’t constantly pushed her away, if you had let her tear down your walls instead of your happiness.

You nudge her and you smile at her. She smiles back.

You feel that ever-present dread bubbling in your stomach, but you fight it. You have the urge to retreat into your shell, to push her away, but you refrain.

For once, you allow yourself freedom from the fear that has been holding you down since you first met her.

Your heart flutters.

For one split second, you let her make you happy.


End file.
